lk

so this is it.

time to nut up or shut up. or in other less weird terms. time to try to listen to God. 

Lord it feels hopeless. i am sorry to say it. but i feel used to and accustomed to not hearing from you regarding men. so i sort of just have accepted it. which i suppose is the exact reason that i do not hear from you. or maybe i do. but i just don't know it. 

sigh.

lk. are we good? are we right? what is Your will? i thought everyone was on the same page and good to go until i realized he is hearing from you not to move here. i don't know what that means. is that a "BREAK UP YOU SILLY CHILDREN" hint. or just a not now? perhaps you're protecting our purity keeping us long distance? perhaps you have a plan for us we don't know of? or perhaps this is the end for us?

what is Your will?

God, i do want you. i do. i want to learn to hear you and listen and seek you and strive to honour you and your kingdom. i feel like lk and i do push each other towards you. i do feel there is a very specific thing that needs to be removed from our relationship. which i am willing to do. if that is done, is your peace upon us?

God, do you want us to break up? do you want us to leave one another so we can better serve you? or can we do that together? i need to talk to him about said object that i think we need to remove.

what does you peace feel like? how will i know if i have it?

is lk the one?